Ello luvies! I am so sorry for another one of my disappearing acts. I know I pull those every once in awhile and I am sorry to say I will be disappearing for another week starting Sunday for I am going to train for tennis at some camp. Whooo fun. Maybe ill lose some weight while I am there. That would please me greatly.

Well I was making some coffee and I thought of my darling blog and I just decided to come leave a small post :)

My life is still full of boy drama if ya know me. I let Gino go cause well I couldnt be that girl and well he was a dick to me and girl I do not take that shit. But then my good friend Stubbs came along and he finally told me he liked me. I was really happy suprisingly and I told him I liked him to. We set up a double date cause we wanted to go slow since we both just got out of relationships and he ended up not being able to come. I was so mad and to top it off I almost died because of a fly. Some suicidal fly landed in my iced coffee and I almost had a heart attack. I downed a whole thing of mouthwash after that. But then Stubbs like ignored me after that and left me confused. Not some unnormal for me. I finally confronted him bout it and guess what he said. The same shit I feel like I have heard countless times this year. "I like you I really do but I don't want a relationship right now."

@_@

There is obviously something seriously wrong with me.

Yeah..this is the charming boy life of a tennsichic. Geez I hate it. So now I am single and just trying to work it to the best of my abilites.... I think I can rock it :)

Welcome! the new follower on my blog btw. I ts nice to have ya here luv.

Katy Perry - Simple

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGyqdB_hFxw

The Magic Numbers - Mornings Eleven

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFZtSZQ0XgQ

Incoming

buzz buzz buzz...

The jean pocket goes

I glance and hit ignore in disgrace

I dont deserve this do I?

Why does he keep coming back?

I keep hittin ignore, dismiss, mute..

Come over

Lets get out

What you doin

The demands to see me file in endlessly

I tell myself he doesnt care

If he did he wouldnt have done those things

Remember the pool

The disgusted looks on peoples faces

The looks of pity from his own friends faces

They all tried to warn you

But now the punishment wears me down

buzz buzz buzz...

Deep breath

The favorite chic flick has been resorted to full of passion and intensity

It doesnt help

Nothing does

Even the closest friends wisdom seems like poppycock

buzz buzz buzz..

All I can do is turn away

Hit that ignore button one more time

If I don't its just one more crack in my foundation

No one wants to be that girl

No one wants to see me be that girl

I wont be that girl.

The emptiness will take time to fill

Everything takes time

You know what he wants

He has got enough

Now with closed eyes I think over and over again

He does not care. He does not care. He does not care.

He actually does not care........

Kate Nash - Foundations

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhC4E055OsY

Hilary Duff - The Getaway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD5hwDIjePs

Cleaning

Today I completely destroyed my room cleaning out the vast amount of useless stuff I own. It was like I had to get rid of all the rubagge in my life. Like I have so much baggage on me right now. I feel weighed down and it slowly drains more of me each day. I needed air so I dug myself a hole threw everything to enable myself a small breathing hole. Its a start and ill take it I guess. I have extremely bad luck and itI know everyone says they do but geez...I really do. This past year I have failed at everything thrown in my path. Its like balancing on a beam and now matter how I place my weight or reposition myself I cant stay on. So I keep getting back on and giving it another go but each time I fall I get another bruise and I get even more tired. Each time I get back up that goal to balance myself is even less appealing. I know I sound emo and depressed but really I am just tired. All I want if for soemthing to work out. For something to be easy and for me to accomlish with a great outcome. But nothing in life is easy and that applys for everyone. All we can every do is our best but even someones best can emotionally wear them.

The Classic Crime - Salt In The Snow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMmXAdPYBIY

The Classic Crime - Everything
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnHRWQTreXQ

Unwanted Care

Wow lookie here I finally have a free moment. Isn't this nice. Ok so I shall start my story leaving for Arizona.....

So we left and went to the airport to fly to Arizona and we got us some serious Starbucks. Ventis barely lasted us the first ten minutes of the flight though it was depressing. We pretty much listened to our ipods and read Cosmopolitian the whole time. It was great. Hehe. But lets see before I left I hooked up with my old umm well idk what to call him. I guess guy I kissed all the time and so I didnt want to be like that again so I told the guy, Gino, that I needed to be in a relationship to do anything with him so we decided to be together the day I left for my wEeK long trip. I shouldve know that would hard.
But so the first day we tanned and may I just say we didnt get any sun there. We just had weird reactions to the funky sun. But we went to a water park and relized everyone is on steroids there and attempted to get tan. Didnt work. One day we went on The Salty River tube thing and we sat in a tube for four hours. Yes four and got hit on by older men and saw wild horses. That was charming. We saw Sedona and all kinds of jazz. It was a LONG week considering I was attempting to make a relationship work. I failed.
Somehow we decided to go back to friends with benefits and I hate that and then now idk what we are cause I am frustrated and hurt and I really like this guy and I HATE it. Also one of my other guy friends likes me and idk how I feel bout that. Is it a good or bad thing? I am so lost right now and well sore cause Summer tennis training is brutal and I helped my friend move into her new house today. Oh and Gino keeps trying to get together with me but he uped and ignored me yesterday in front of his friends. Wtf? What does he want.
This post probably makes no sense since I am so tired. I am so sorry.

I Wish - The Secret Handshake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBR0lXD0hEs

Undressing The Words- The Maine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBpiFWfSKlw

Ewe. Arizona is well... Hot as Fuck.

I am in Arizona lovies. Sorry for my disapearance. Dang this foreign laptop is hard to type on. Well but yeah Arizona is hot and I have tons of stories to tell ya but I will have to type that up when I get back. Missin all ya bloggers. I really am missin my rant page aka my blog. D:

The Arizona Trip Theme Song

Justin Timberlake Featuring Timbaland - SexyBack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAT5ypTjKOI