Reckless Antics

How the hell did I end back with the guy from earlier this year who crushed me and used me? How did I let this happen again And most importanly how is it that I am happy with him again though I'm positive it wont last. I am gonna fool around again with him and fall for him again. Why can't I walk away from him? Why can't I find a normal relationship? Oh wait thats right this is my life so that wont be happening. I hate this and I hate him for choosing me to be the one girl he cant get enough of even though he will never commit. I couldnt just be one of those one time deals like the rest of the girls he has fooled around with. Just.....fuck.

Eminem - Lose Yourself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFYQQPAOz7Y

Oh and I leave for Arizona tommorow so sorry if I disappear for awhile :( How will I vent?

I Effed Up..But Did I?

Yeah I am so stupid.


Oh and I am a hypocrite.

Anna Nalick - Breathe (2AM)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPz3YaIJkjQ

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,

can you help me unravel my latest mistake,

I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes

Like they have any right at all to critisize,

hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

Tommorow by Lillix

tomorrow's just another day another way to spend my day all by my self starin at the tv screen flipping through my magazine everything is unclear i need you hear do

and i wake up put on my make up pick up the phone nobodys home i need to break out give me some take out standing side the crowd i wanna scream out loud i'll be ok i'll be ok

walking down this whining road raining days are all unknown i have hit the ground staring up into the sky countin all the reasons why my mind is spinning around i need to breath dooo

so,i wake up put on my make up pick up the phone nobodys home and i need to break out give me some take out standing side the crowd i wanna scream out loud i'll be ok

get off from the floor i just can't take anymore leave that all behind just get along

nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah oohhh

oh,i wake up put on my make up pick up the phone nobodys home and i need to break out give me some take out standing side the crowd i wanna scream out loud i'll be ok i'll be ok

oh,i wake up put on my make up pick up the phone nobodys home and i need to break out give me some take out standing side the crowd i wanna scream out loud

i need to break out!! were ok were alright were ok we'll be alright tomorrow's just another day another way to spend my day

Tomorrow- Lillix

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsduZX_xwt0

I was completely obcessed with this song growing up. Thought I'd share it with ya peoples. :)

Reality Check with a Drop Rainwater

I had a fucking post typed up and it got deleted! Ugh that pisses me off so much! .......Alright I will retype it.

So my friend Jq has so many boy issues. She is talking to this dude Devin who openly admits to using her and leading her own but does she care? Nope and then there is the freak Brian guy who she used to be involved with but he never wanted to go public so she said forget that but now he is sending her pictures of his fugly penis and for some reason she is inviting him to my movie night. Hell no. Also there was the whole thing with the guy who talked her into phone sex and that ppls is why sexting is in every magazine and tabloid.

But yes so I told Logan that this whole thing wasnt worth it anymore and he didnt like that but honestly I am just done and I dont want him to hold me back this summer. Its to hard.

My coach is seriosuly pissin me off also so I am so switching coaches and that is just bad if he doesnt like it. He is ruining my game and that just can happen. I work to hard.

Its rainging here again. I like it.

Oh I also hate my dad now fyi. Like I am so done.

Holly Would You Turn Me On - All Time Low

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqdrS1S44e4

Keri Hilson - Knock You Down ft. Kanye West & Neyo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Swj0zTG6wfI

Good or Bad?

Oh! For starters check out what I am gonna do with my hair!

How can you tell if a guy is a good or bad guy? Many girls ask themselves this when they start something with a new guy ( or girl matters your preference :P ) but most of the time they cant even give themselves a straight answer. There are little questions and things you can do to figure out if he really is into you or if he just wants to hook up. Like if you can't have a conversation with him about something that is imporant to ya then he probably just wants to hook up cause he doesnt care bout whats goin on in your life. Now I know its hard to say a guy is bad if he is a good kisser or knows just the right way to hold ya. These guys are pro hoes. They know exactly what to do to make ya melt that is until he finds a girl who he feels is better. Also if a guy tells ya he just doesnt want to be in a relationship right now STAY AWAY. He will never commit to you and he just wants to have fun with no commitment involved. Now I see stuff like the Chuck and Blair relationship on Gossip Girl and hope that there is a chance that a guy who says stuff like that will commit one day but reality is that life isnt tv and it definetly isnt like Gossip Girl. Also big egos are another thing you want to stay away from. That is a sign of a man hoe. Most of those guys are extremely cocky. Now there are many signs of a man hoe and I would like you to post some of the ones you know. Now here is a charming list of good qualities to look for in a guy.

Tennischic's List of Good Boy Qualities

1. He text you constantly. This shows he cares.
But not if its in a freaky stalker way. Stay away from those kind of guys.

2. He asks how you are and shows geniune concern when you have a problem

or your feelings have been hurt. Even if its a stupid problem he should be there for ya.

3. He compliments and notices things besides your boobs.

4. He loves everything bout ya you hate. Everything about ya is what makes ya you

and that is what he loves. You and your personality.

5. You can be completely honest with him. No secrets.

Secrets arnt a sign of a good relationship.

6. He puts you first but still finds time to be with his friends

7. Your music taste is similar. I know it sounds fickle but it actually is a big bonding point.

8. He says cute little things like good morning sexy when he text ya.

Cute things can be cheesy but ya know you love them anyways.

9. He is honest about himslef and his past

10. He introduces you to his friends and family proudly.

NeverShoutNever - Smelyalata

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9mwFuBfnmI

The Follow Through - So High

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfWVl99KmsM

Safetysuit - Stay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wRUAMqDQ5s

Tennis Tournaments, Starbucks and Ruffled Covers

Ok so yesterday I woke up bright and early and got ready for the State Tournament for Tennis. Our school's number one doubles team had made it so we went out to support them. They lost

:( but the tournament was still amazing. I loved the atmosphere and all the tennis going on at one time. So I watched a couple other matches and I had been texting my college boy, Logan, during all of this. He gives me a call and says he wants to come get me so we can chill. Aka Makeout. So he comes and gets me and my friend Courtney. We go to my house and watch a movie while we wait for Courtneys bf Kyle to come over. Finally Kyle gets there and we are sitting there while they are downstairs and finally he mans up and kisses me. Coyrtney and Kyle of course decide to come back then. I asked them if they wanted to put another movie in and they just turned away from me so I took Logan to my room where we ruffled some covers. Now ppls I have my rules. One of them is that my pants and bra stay on if your not my boyfriend. That rule was followed thank you very much. But yeah I knew it would just be a hook up but he wants to see me again. Idk what to think cause he acts like he wants to see me so bad at one point and then changes his mind I guess and becomes distant. I knew nothing but stress would come out of this but hey I had a good time with him and I have a feeling that we will have a good time sneaking around in the future. He doesnt wants his cousins or mom to know cause well he is like 5 years older than me. That sounds so much worse typed D:

3OH!3- Punk Bitch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gaHflD4XCU

3OH!3- Still Around

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta5nc8tyok0&feature=related

College Boyz Likie Hook Ups

Yeah so my sometimes friend Logan is back in town from college and I think he wants to hook up. Doing that never ends well for me. Never.

Is hooking up even right? Does it make you a hoe or a slut? I believe it matters your intentions and what you actually do. I will make out and play around being silly when hooking up cause its just beiong fun but when ytou push the limits and sleep with someone while hooking up that is takin it to far. You can get supa hurt just by makin out. Imagine if you go farther. You'll then be really hurt.

Some may label people for hooking up as a hoe or slut. But that isnt right. It is someones personal choice and unless they do it with different guys or while they have a boyfriend.

Life is complicated and this is just another dent in the page of the book we call Life.

Asher Roth - I Love College

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRVFfgoIKcg

The Perfect Summer :D

So I have got my perfect summer planned out. I am completely set. Starting out I am going to Arizona the first week of June and my friend Courtney may come so I dont have to deal with all the dirt and deadly bugs by myself. When we get back we will train for tennis and ill work and just chill and party. The last week in June ill be going to a hard core tennis camp with Courtney which is freaken sweet! I am SO excited bout this! When we get back from camp we leave like the next day to spend a week in Flordia. Its gonna be crazy but we will love it and her boyfriend is coming with us on that one so this will please him. He is puting right now from the lack of time he will have with her as it is but hey he has football training so he can suck it up. When we get back from Flordia is will just be more chilling and partying and training. Ah...all this sounds so nice. :)

I got done playing tennis awhile ago and now I am hunkering down to a Greys Anatomy marathon and my English home work because I am bout dead.

OMG I just realize I havent been posting alot of music X_X I must fix this.

The-Dream - Rockin' That Thang
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxTFNXhb1kY

Psapp - Cosy in the rocket (GREYS ANATOMY THEME SONG)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVVto-1W_EI

Kate Nash-Mariella
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sIDKWskyAY

Tennis Party!

Just got back from our yearly tennis party! We had a blast. I must say that seeing my coach smile for once was quite nice.

Hmmm...so what is goin on in my boring old life???? Give me a sec I have to contemplate......

Well so I got my nails done the other day and they look like the shit. I have a guy who likes me but see I dont like him back. I like a guy and he doesnt like me back. Apparently my prescence "bugs" him now. Stupid boys. I had a allergic reaction to god knows what this morning and I looked bloody awful for forever. I pretty much got raped in my front yard yesterday for trying to look at my friends pics. My hair kinda looks cute air dried right now. I love tennis. I am out of shape. I watched the Princess Diaries the other day cause I was upset. I watched Sweet Home Alabama today cause my friend hadnt seen it. WTF? I am gonna watch the movie House tonight. Oh and I watched Sex Drive the other night. That movie is amusin. Rock on Omish people. Excuse me if I spelt that wrong. Oop I am being summoned ta ta.

I hate....

Ya know I hate when guys are have slept around alot. It just ruins them for me. Like I will like a guy and then I hear how they fucked around alot with other chics and then I feel like they are used clothing or something. It just vile and disgusting.

Now mixed signals are another thing. Like I absolutely hate when a ppl says one thing and then say something else. If someone changes their mind they just need to say I changed my mind not pretend to havent said they first thing.

Jealous girlfriends....sigh. They are the biggest bitchs. My friend Adam and I have been good friend since the beginning of the school year and his little fickle gf has decided she doesnt like me around. I talked to him LONG before she ever did. I shall continue to talk to him to. I dont like him like that and I would never steal someone elses bf so this is just ridiculous.


.... I resereve the right to edit this hate list whenever I please.

One Hell of a Rollercoaster Ride

Ok I promised all ya a long ass post and now you must get it! So now I will begin the long story of my California DECA Trip.

So last Tuesday the 28th I packed my bags up and left freaken early to go to the local airport to board my plane to California. My ?friend? Taylor texted me bright and early which was nice of him so we could chat and get there at similar times. I got ready and made myself look all sexy for the airport and then left and got me some breakfast. Of course I had to go to Sonic and get me some Mango Tea and a vile brakfast wrap thing. Tea = good. Wrap = bad. So I got to the airport bout two minutes before my ?friend? Taylor. He pulled up just as my mom hit her boiling point and was freakin about me leavin. No matter how old I get my mom still freaks all the time over me. Unofrtunatelt she probably has good reason. So once I got her annoying ass to leave me and Talyor just sat and hung out. We were both dead tired. Now see Taylor is talkin to his best friends gf which is so not good and personally I hate the chic but yeah so he was texting her and I am physic -not really- and I kept askin him stuff they were talkin bout and he kept freakin that I was readin his text. Geez. But soon everyone else showed up and we got through security and all that jazz. We had time to chill and get food before we got on the plane so we looked around a bit. Then we came back and stole Marcus's seat (Marcus is another DECA guy) and Marcus being Marcus bit Taylor super hard on the shoulder leavin a big ass bite mark. All Taylor had to say to this one was my ex bites harder that you :P Gotta love him. So we board the plane and Taylor and me sit together and my crazy roommate also joins us. During the flight I totally crashed and fell asleep on Taylor's shoulder. Now this is the thing. I rub my face into my pillow to get comfortable when I sleep and I went and did that to Taylors shoulder. I felt kinda bad. Hehe I guess. He kinda smells good and I LUV when guys smell good. He said it was cute though so it was all good :) That night we got to the hotel and checked in and went to Downtown Disnye to eat. We went to Tortilla Joes and I got a smoothie and a salad. It was really good. Later we walked around and I knocked down a big makeup counter at Sephora. It sucked.

Then next day we woke up at eight thirty and went to Disneyland and California Adventure. I went with a group of guys and my roommate Holly. Now Hollys story is that she is sex obcessed and just went on the WHOLE time how she wants to fuck a surfer. WTF? And she is already fuckin like six guys. God knows she probably has some disease. But back to Rainforest Cafe where we ate breakfast. Now I am tellin everyone right now if you have never ate their breakfast there you must do this before you die. I got the waffle and damn that was amzing!

Now after breakfast we made our way to the parks and our little group just goes on every ride we can that is roller coaster like. Our group was Taylor, Me, Tyler (sweetheart who I love), Tj ( Dick who you cant help but like), Brent ( who although is kinda a strong silent type is sweet), Robbie ( looks like JT apparently), and Caleb (he talked to his gf the whole time. I give him props for being dedicated but then he pops in the funniest comments so randomly!). So later we finish and go back to the hotel for DECA opening ceremony and from there we just chill.

The Third day I started my Leadership Program with took up WAY to much of my day but I would come back and lay with Taylor or something.

So here is the thing. Taylor and Me spent alot of time just laying together in bed. Nothing happened but we would lay there and I would have my head on his shoulder and we are like under the covers or we would be laying there and he would be like half on top of me or holdin me or something. I loved when we did that. I trust Taylor so much and he makes me feel so safe but I dont know if we could ever be more. We are super close friends and idk what to do or what to think. Psssst! Guess what you should post your opinion on this here topic ;) ;) wink wink.

But that night everyone in the group went to Hollywod but me, Taylor, Tj, and Tyler stayed behind and we walked around Califorinia and got Chinese. After that we came back and while my boys played basketball I worked out and damn am I out of shape. But then later we came back and I laid with Taylor in bed and that was really nice until one of our sponsors saw us and made me leave to go to my own room. She said it was time for her to get some sleep and she cant do that apparently when I am in a guys bed. So as soon as I get to my room I get a text fromTj and he tells me to sneak to his and Taylors room where I jump right back in bed with Taylor and just chilled. Late Ms. Recher came and caught me though and then reported me. Kill joy. But she seemed supa shocked to find me in a guys room. Gotta love newbies. This night was probably my favorite.

Oh and fyi everyone was askin if me and Taylor were a couple.

Now the fourth day I did the leadership program and came back and we left for Calfiornia Adventure but we mustve been there like twnty minutes when the guys decided to leave and get food. So we left and got food and then we went back the hotel without telling the sponsors. So when we were there I was layin with Taylor and he kinda fell asleep and I turned around and was like hey there sleepy and he was like hey and he leaned away from me and so I looked back cause that made me cold and he goes "You just want to me to hold ya dont you? You like being close to me." I didnt even know what to say :/ but yeah so then the sponsors called us all mad and we got in alot if trouble but what else is new?

The final full day we went to two four hour ceremonys and a dinner event. It sucked to say the least and Taylor was just kinda quiet and weird. But everyone kinda was. We also went to the beach and the peir and shopped. I got me a cute pair of swan vans with turqouise laces. Love them! But yeah so then we went to bed and got up and left the next day. Taylor sat with me on the plane but something didnt feel right. Idk but I lost my hearing partially when we landed and I got it back at ten thirty at night. Sigh well it feels good to be home and that ppls is my long ass post. It has worn me out and this is a summary.

Flo Rida - Sugar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsAYuh6xc1E

I'm Back Bitchs!

I am back bro! I returned from California yesterday and may I say I loved it! I totally got the full experience. From goin to ride the Tower of Terror to sneaking out of my hotel room late at night. I did it. :) I have so much to tell all ya bout the trip. Now I know this sounds bad but it is super late here....so I will post it later. I am SO sorry. I owe everyone a big ass post! I will do this!
But until then read some of my poems I wrote and listen to this song. Lots of Love!

I'm On A Boat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU

“Love Game”


Do you know that you bruise my heart every time you play your little game?
You graze my hand every so discreetly with your thumb
Midnight meetings and hallway glances that put my feelings to shame
That influential look you give me makes me go numb
You say you’re just having fun but this isn’t fun
It hurts me more each day
No matter how many times you kiss me that way
The looks on my friend’s faces shun me everyday
I need stability and comfort not some little love game
Love games are fickle and bring me so much pain
You may think I can be another comfort but sweetie that’s not how this works
Be honest now and tell me what you want
I want you and me to work
But now you are walking away showing me that I was right saying no

Just Another Deep Breath

The player steps onto the court with the wind gracefully blowing their upswept hairThump thump thump
The green of the courts is like that of the nearby football field, freshly cut
The nets are like a spiders web ready to entrap any oncoming ball that dares fly into it
Thump thump thump
Elegantly the racket reaches to the court and lies against the tip of the player’s shoe
The ball is bounced
OneTwoThree Four Five Six
Thump thump thump
The ball is brought to the racket
The sun shines down and bronzes the players firm shoulders.
Knees and back bent ever so slightly forming the player’s body into a sleek position
Spectators hold their breath and take in the full style of the player
The player takes a deep breath
In and out
The racket is drawn up the leg flowing up it like a stream
The ball is thrown into the air
Up it goes and falls
The racket makes contact as if it is drawn to it like a magnet
Two forces combining to form one strong one
The ball flies over the net at an incredible speed
The racket falls swiftly and surely at the hip
The serve is in




Unlikely Strength

I stand in the crowd and watch as the people all shout
I am pushed aside and trampled as if I won’t fight back
I see the destruction
The men who cheat and the woman who lie
The children with an imagination to believe they are ready
The world has hit a point where it is grazing rock bottom
The pollution clogs the minds of all bringing more crime and corruption
Through all this young helpless children cry out
I see the destruction
People protest ridiculous issues and the government throws our money to fickle causes
Do they not see society crying out for help?
It isn’t even crying though it is screaming
Begging for a chance to breathe a fresh breath
You say I can’t make a difference
That no one will hear me threw the sounds of war
Well hear I am breaking through the darkness determined to bring in the light
I will stand strong and fight the wrong of men and woman
I may die trying but that is better than sitting here on petal watching our world die
I fly with hope under my wings and summer’s new winds with a mission
To save this horrid place we call home for I see the destruction